When I clocked out of Work, it was just sprinkling a bit, and I had my Raincoat and Hat with me, so I figured "Hey, even if it kicks back up a bit, I'll be fine." And went for my usual evening Constitutional. The rain picked up a bit, but I've got pretty good gear, so everything stayed groovy.

About halfway back to my Apartment, the Storm really hit. Crazy winds, so much that the Streetlights started flickering, Rain pouring down in literal sheets, soon with Hail mixed in, I was soaked to the skin in a couple of seconds, right through the raincoat. Enough of the Rain was coming in sideways that it went through the vents in my hat, too.

The storm was loud, but I still wouldn't be surprised if some of the people in the houses I was walking past could hear me laughing and shouting praise to Thor, I can be pretty damn loud, too.

Once I got back, just out of curiosity, I stepped on the scale, and then changed into dry clothes and tried it again. Fifteen Pound difference. I had a gallon and a half of water soaked into my clothes.

It was awesome. In both the original and common senses of the word.

I think I was actually in this situation yesterday, only a few hours after I read the comic in question. As usual, figured it out just too late for it to matter.

...Burning Bodies Hanging from Poles
I Remember Halloween

What do you call a Bear with Mental Health Problems?
A Bi-Polar Bear!

What do you call a Jewish Disco Band with Horror-themed Lyrics?
The Heebie-Bee-Gees!

And, finally, where do Jewish Vikings go when they die?
( Read more... )

nebris posted this a little while back, and it really clicked with me in a lot of ways, so I'm spreading it a little further.

----

~When I first started dealing with disability in myself, I heard of something called “The Spoon Theory”. It's a concept to explain the 'invisible' diseases where prejudice is often encountered, you know, “Gee, you don't look sick,” which then leads to being judged as 'lazy,' 'faking,' etc.

The idea is that we start out with less 'spoons' aka amount of energy/stamina each day than the non-disabled. While I certainly understand the concept, from the very beginning I thought the metaphor a stupid one. I mean, WTF do spoons have to do with stamina? It's annoying me right now.

So, I have decided that I'm shitcanning the damn thing and am campaigning to replace it with a metaphor that makes more sense, what I call “The Battery Count.”

Okay, when you're at the checkout line, you see those packs of AA batteries hanging opposite the checkout conveyor belt. They come in 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, and some times even 20 packs. We use them in almost everything, usually two at a time.

The metaphor here is that 'normal' e.g. non-disabled folks generally get a 10 pack each day and that's what gets them through their day. Some days even they only get an 8 pack. And some folks seem to get that 20 pack everyday! [We all hate them, don't we? lol]

But those of us with the 'invisible' diseases, like Depression or MS or Chronic Fatigue or Lupus and a whole host of others, we only get a 6 pack, or 4 pack or, on particularly bad days, only a 2 pack.

We simply don't get the same Battery Count as the non-disabled folks. That's just the way it is and we have to make adjustments so we can function with the Battery Count we have, not the one we'd like.

Honestly, I really would love to be one of those 20 pack folks, seriously, because I have a 20 pack mind. But, while I some times - on a Really Good Day - get an 8 pack, I usually just get a 4 or 6 pack.

And berating myself for that just drains those batteries all the quicker. Better to work with the pack I actually get and make the most out of the batteries I really have.

So, don't that metaphor make more sense? Screw a bunch a spoons! I'm a Battery Count Gimp, and you should be too!

----

I've been down for long enough that I don't really know what someone getting 10 Batteries a Day actually gets done, but I know I'm below that point. At a rough guess, I'd say I'm at around 8 per Day most of the time.

This morning, I was dreaming, and right as my Alarm went off, there was one point left to resolve in the Dream. I hit Snooze, and managed to go right back in the Dream. I tied up the loose end, walked over to a car where a Friend was waiting, got in, put on my sunglasses and we drove off. And then it literally faded to black and rolled credits. Everyone was credited as playing him- or herself, but it still rolled credits. I've never had that happen in a Dream before.

I just got back from my After Work Walk. The Sky is really clear, with only a few wispy clouds, and the Moon is very, very bright. Even though it's just after 1:00, it feels like that hour between Dawn and Sunrise, like the Sun could edge up over the Harbour at any minute.

If I didn't have to go to Work tomorrow, I'd totally just put on some Coffee and stay up to greet the Sun. That said, the Full Moon isn't for another two Nights, so if the Weather holds, I might well get a similar night during my days off.

Went better. Lena (my diet buddy) was working today, so I had some support there, which definitely helped. I came to the realization that a lot of the stress comes from having to watch myself for habitual grazing. I'm pretty good at keeping my conscious decisions on what to eat in check, it's the times when I'm just walking past the Cookie Rack and reach for one without thinking, or I'm making something and go to taste it that really require effort to control.

I'm spending some time re-hydrating right now, because even though it was Decaf, I still had rather a lot of Coffee while I was talking with my Dad after work, and yeah, diuretic effects...

Managed to hold on. Seriously, though, this is like an Alcoholic trying to go Sober while working in a Brewery. One day at a time...

Also, I totally underestimated how much I've been eating there, and when I packed my lunch, I made it way too small. Fortunately there was a leftover Flatbread (one of the two things we make that I can eat right now), which got me through. Actually, I'm going to abandon the traditional three meal pattern, and go for five rather smaller meals. As long as I'm planning it out in advance, it should work out reasonably well.

I had also been planning on going jogging on the Track up at the High School a couple of times a week, but that turns out not to be an option, since it's closed off by the time I can get up there. In a way, I'm kind of glad. Just being on Campus long enough to check on that nearly triggered a breakdown. Lots of bad memories on that ground.

When I was about ten minutes from Home, the lack of food really became apparent. Felt like I was about to collapse for a little while. By the time I finally did get back, I felt like I'd been on an all-day hike in the rain, all cold and wet. Once I got some warmer clothes on and some proper food in me, though, I felt much better.

I'm tired, but it's a good kind of tired.

As of nightfall yesterday, I'm eating completely refined-sugar free for the next two weeks. The last couple of days worth of grocery shopping have been incredibly frustrating, but I don't think nearly so frustrating as the next two weeks at Work are going to be.

After two weeks, I'm going to loosen up a bit, but not by much. I think that once I get that solid "detox" chunk out, I'll be OK as long as I stick with some Objective limits, i.e. Sugar one day per Week.

I'm also stepping up my exercise, adding in a couple of days jogging on top of my walks.

And most importantly, I've got a friend in it with me, so we can keep each other on track.

Yesterday was a "two battery day". Barely made it out of bed by noon, and I was back asleep before the sun went down. I got something like 15 hours of sleep, though, and don't feel groggy, so I guess I needed it.

I was listening to Gorgeous Morning by Tanya Davis and I made the mistake(?) of looking up the lyrics to some of the songs. It turns out that one of them was about when her cat died, and it brought up all this stuff, and I just broke down and started sobbing.

Now that I'm (somewhat) recovered, it's got me in two minds. On the one hand, I love running into something that powerful, that can affect me so strongly, and it was wonderfully cathartic. On the other hand, though, I like listening to that record as working music, and that's just not going to work out if I keep on breaking down for 20 minutes or so every time Baby Lion comes on.

I have read a Book of Power and Truth and Beauty. I have Spoken with Gods and Goddesses. I have listened to Songs of Madness. It has been a Good Day.

And the Best has not yet come...

I don't usually watch videos when people post them. My computer is old and clunky, and they don't play very well, and I'm not a huge fan of the medium anyhow.

That said, every now and then, I just get this feeling that I need to watch a particular video, and there have been several of them recently, so I pass them on to y'all.

First up, a cat with a very amusing "drinking problem". The facial expressions are pure win. From bougieman.


If you only watch one of these, it should be this one. Tuvan Throat Singing, Vladivostok, Yul Brynner, Richard Feynman, cool sunglasses, I have no idea what it's all about, but it's really cool:

I think mithras introduced me to that one, but I'm not 100% sure. It was someone in a Comment on one of flemco's entries. Speaking of whom, he posted this next one. It took me a couple of days to figure out how I really felt about it. Actually I'm still not sure, but I do find it fascinating that she's significantly less obnoxious while making pig noises.


Finally, I found this one while just poking around. Led Zeppelin playing Immigrant Song live in '72, with a totally bitchin' Solo added on to the end. I wish they'd taken this version into the Studio at some point.

I made 97 Loaves of Bread today at work. Almost hit that triple digit mark!

There was extra because we're swamped with orders for Sweet Spiral Challah for Rosh Hashanah. As far as I can tell, I just made the largest batch of Challah ever made in this Bakery. That's pretty cool. I'm just glad it was all the Spirals instead of the usual Braids. I don't want to think about how long it would take to Braid 53 Loaves of Challah. Having said that, I just did: It would be something like 3 1/2 hours, just for the Braiding. It only took me an hour or so to do all the Spirals.

I was thinking about Titling and opening this Post with a "Conan! What is best in Life?" bit, but several people who read this also follow Warren Ellis, and I didn't want to give the wrong idea ;)

On my way to Work every day, I go by the local Stationary Store, and they always have some little Inspirational Phrase on the Chalkboard out front. The other day, it was "Most Smiles are started by another Smile." Most people would just see this as an encouragement to Smile more, right?

Not me, no. I start thinking about the Mathematics of Smile Propagation and examining what the causes are when I start smiling. I've been thinking about this, on at least a low level, for several days now.

I've gotta say, unless there are some people out there setting off some pretty major Smile Chains, I'm pretty sure that quote is bullshit. Most of my Smiles are set off by some non-Smile event, and most take place while I am alone, and as such do not take any part in Smile Chains. I'm sure that there are plenty of others who are similar. The next level is a bit harder to generalize from, since I have a very strong bias towards one-on-one communication, but most of the Smile Chains that I am part of are simple two steps, involving just me and one other person, whichever way they go.

This has been your Daily Dose of WTF.

...Homophobic fuckers, what the FUCK is wrong with you? I see all this fucking BULLSHIT that you propagate for the stupidest of reasons, to prevent people who are in love with each other from being together. Why the FUCK does it matter what sex a couple are to get married? Why the FUCK does it matter what sex a couple are to fall in love? What the FUCK is wrong with you that you would deny two people in love, for such a stupid thing as being the same sex?

/Rant

You know who I kind of miss? Ari Fleischer. Yeah, he was a lying bastard, but he elevated it to an art. A Spin Doctor who could show you his Ph.D. None of these fuckers they've been tossing out in front of the White House Press Corps since have even come close.

It's coming and going, but at the peaks, it's far louder than any other outside noise I can recall at this Apartment, including the Maintenance guys with their Leaf Blowers and Weed Whackers. There were literal sheets of rain at a couple of points, too, and it's been combining enough that I have splatters and drops almost halfway up the sliding door, despite the new eaves.

Nights like this, I really love having a Schedule that means I get to stay up this late.

In other news, this has been a LONG week. There was a Birthday Party for a co-worker this afternoon/evening that I was thinking about going to, but I ended up working too late, and not really feeling like being around that many people. But there were a couple of other people who were also too burned out to handle something like that, so we just got together after I got done with work and had a couple of beers and watched The Spirit. Man, I don't know why people were trashing that movie so much. Yes, it's terrible, but it is the perfect kind of terrible. We had so much fun watching it. Seriously, it was like something Stan Lee and Jack Kirby would have come up with in the 60s.

Just posting to wish Happy Birthdays to nebris and hawkdancer. Y'all have a good one today!